I am filing this in Hillbilly Philosophy because I am about to tell you my game plan for ripping Red Lobster off for endless shrimp-fest or whatever it is they call it. I swore a couple of years ago that I’d never go to Red Lobster again after my shriveled ass pitiful dry crab-fest but my friend wanted to go and I instantly wanted to rip Red Lobster off.
First of all you need a cool waitress. You also need to be a happy person and get the waiter or waitress to like you. I lucked out and got a waitress who complimented my charm necklace. I looked at her earrings and was startled- she was wearing the same threader earrings that I cherish and LOVE with all my heart. I instantly knew she was awesome.
<—- love these earrings!
They remind me of a skating rink.
Basically, you can order up to five types of shrimp. Red Lobster will give you salad. Eat it lightly (which I did not but the Ranch there is so good). Biscuits? Save for later! You don’t need the carbs now! You have some shrimp to down.
Now, load up on shrimp. Eat the shit out of all the shrimp you can possibly fit into your gluttonous mouth. Do it for America.
When on shrimp order #4, ask for the last shrimp order and a to go box. Oh, and more biscuits. You will get at least this much food to take home:
I tipped the waitress well for being the best waitress of my life and wrote her a sweet note.